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2006-06-26 - 9:09 p.m.

My head is killing me and I just realized I haven't made an entry in almost two years. That's because I was in a coma, thanks for asking, dickweeds.

Also, there are two things you should know about this industrial wasteland of a city I live in; it's extremely poor and Bigfoot lives here.

You know how there is more urban wildlife like coyotes living in Central Park? Well, I swear to God I saw Bigfoot in a diner this weekend around 4 a.m. The residents are poor and eat tons of crap so they tend grow very big and scruffy. I went to the Greek diner after an evening of lesbian hillbilly music. B-town in the wee hours is an odd (frightening) mixture of rockers, bar employees and patrons, and auto workers just getting off the third shift from the GM stamping plant jonesing for eggs. My paint chip eating friends left me alone at the table for a moment while they went off and screwed a whore in the bathroom. Then a couple of "guys" walk in who could have easily passed for a passel of sasquatches in cognito (Ithink that's the terms for a bunch of sasquatches or it should be). They had beards, were at least 6'10" and about 350 lbs each and looked as if they bedded down in a corn field. They did not however have the telltale odor that I read about on bigfoot research websites nor did they order raw venison.

I would type more but my helper monkey looks like his diaper needs changing.

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